This I conceive to be the chemical fu...

This I conceive to be the chemical function of humor: to change the character of our thought.

Posted in MM.

Although golf was originally restrict...

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it’s open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

Posted in MM.

Great leaders are pragmatists who can...

Great leaders are pragmatists who can deal with difficult realities but still have the optimism and courage to act.

Posted in MM.

Falling in love consists merely in un...

Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense.

Posted in MM.

Falling in love consists merely in un...

Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense.

Posted in MM.

The only real job of a teacher, espec...

The only real job of a teacher, especially a writing teacher, is to help students find themselves.

Posted in MM.

Lying in bed would be an altogether p...

Lying in bed would be an altogether perfect and supreme experience if only one had a colored pencil long enough to draw on the ceiling.

Posted in MM.

Once I opened up a fortune cookie and...

Once I opened up a fortune cookie and inside was the guy’s cheque next to me I said hey buddy I got your cheque he said thanks

Posted in MM.

If you’re changing the world, y...

If you’re changing the world, you’re working on important things. You’re excited to get up in the morning.

Posted in MM.

Serious sport has nothing to do with ...

Serious sport has nothing to do with fair play. It is bound up with hatred, jealousy, boastfulness, disregard of all rules and sadistic pleasure in witnessing violence. In other words, it is war minus the shooting.

Posted in MM.

The leader shows that style is no sub...

The leader shows that style is no substitute for substance, that creating an impression is more potent than acting from one’s center.

Posted in MM.

When all is said and done, the weathe...

When all is said and done, the weather and love are the two elements about which one can never be sure.

Posted in MM.

When all is said and done, the weathe...

When all is said and done, the weather and love are the two elements about which one can never be sure.

Posted in MM.

Mr. Klamp laid down the law. No tardi...

Mr. Klamp laid down the law. No tardiness, no talking above 40 decibels, no untied shoelaces, no visible undergarments, no eating, no chewing gum, no chewing tobacco, no chewing betel nuts, no chewing coca leaves, no chewing out students (unless Mr. Klamp was doing the chewing out), no chewing out teachers (unless ditto), no unnecessary displays of temper (unless ditto), no unnecessary displays of affection (no exceptions), no pets over one ounce or under one ton, and no singing, except in Bulgarian. I began to think Mr Klamp wouldn’t be so bad..

Posted in MM.

In spite of everything I shall rise a...

In spite of everything I shall rise again: I will take up my pencil, which I have forsaken in my great discouragement, and I will go on with my drawing.

Posted in MM.